


Picking Up the Pieces (We Just Need Time)

by paintedwolf



Series: Sub Rosa [1]
Category: Charmed (TV 1998)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:54:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22787503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paintedwolf/pseuds/paintedwolf
Summary: Tag to "Valhalley of the Dolls" .As Chris cleans up the mess left behind from his and Leo's fight, he starts to wonder: The world needs to be saved, there's no question about that, but what price are they all going to have to pay to see it done?
Series: Sub Rosa [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1638253
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	Picking Up the Pieces (We Just Need Time)

**Author's Note:**

> OG Charmed, obvs (I haven't watched the new series yet). I rewatched season 6 (as one does) on a bit of a nostalgia trip a while ago, and I started writing these little tags/one-shots, with the intention of writing one for each episode of the season, but I only managed to finish 5 of them before I got side-tracked by other stuff. As it stands right now, I'm unlikely to ever finish them, and all they're doing is gathering virtual dust on my computer, so I figured, what the hell, let's just post what I have. I decided to make this a series, since each piece can stand on its own, but they're all around the theme of exploring Chris' inner thoughts and emotions as he goes through season 6. So, here's the first one...

He knows what he's done. He tries not to analyse it further than that, tries to keep his thoughts focused on his hands, and his breath and the mundane task that's been forgotten in the midst of bigger things. He doesn't know why he chose to stay tonight. There's nothing he can do for her – or her sisters – that can make any of this right, but she's back now, upstairs and _hurting,_ and he knows it's all his fault.

Paige comes downstairs, all dressed up and on her way out for the evening. He tells her she looks amazing, because it's the truth, and also because he's not sure he's said a single nice thing to any of them since he got here.

She offers to help him clean up later, as if he has something better to do. He appreciates her thinking of him when everyone else is currently pretending he doesn't exist, but even if he _did_ have someplace else to be, he doesn't want to just leave when things are such a mess.

"It's okay; I don't mind," he says, "It's the least I can do."

That's the truth, too. It's not enough, after all the pain and hurt he's caused these past few weeks, but he tells himself it's a step in the right direction.

"What do you mean, the least you can do?" she asks. His hand stills where he'd been reaching for a shard of broken wood; he'd almost forgotten that from their perspective, he's innocent in all this.

He's played his part well, as he knows he must, but it's a double-edged sword. He's relieved that she believes him at any rate, even when he knows how little he deserves it. Cleaning up the house is only a tiny fraction of what he _should_ be doing to make it up to them.

"Oh, you know," he says, as coolly as he can manage, "For fighting with Leo and–" _breaking them up._

_For hurting Piper. For killing those Valkyries._

It's not entirely another lie. He _does_ regret how far it went with Leo, but not for the reasons they will probably expect.

Paige leaves to go see "Oscar", and he recognises, amused, that it's pretty much just code for _I met Oscar's owner and he asked me out._ He's happy for her. 

Phoebe less so, but he's heard the stories before of when she came into her empath power. The Phoebe from his future used to speak about it like it was just an amusing inconvenience at the start, but it doesn't stop the Phoebe from now retreating to her bedroom soon after Paige leaves. 

He hears the soft click of another door being shut upstairs and thinks that she just needs time. They all do.

He gets back to his tidying, but he's having a hard time ignoring the knot of guilt that's set itself firmly under his ribs. It hurts more than he thought it would, deceiving them like this.

He's known from the beginning that he'd have to do things he wouldn't like. This isn't the first time he's lied, not even _close_ to the first time he's killed because he had to. The world he grew up in wasn't kind to people who couldn't do what was needed to survive. He just has to be careful about where he draws his lines. There's only a thin veil between good and evil, between necessary and _right_ , and only the smallest stretch from the point where he crosses those lines because he has to, and when he starts to lose sight of his humanity.

Chris can find a way to live with using the Valkyries to serve his purposes. He won't be able to find a way to live with killing an innocent. It frightens him, how close he'd come to leaving that cop there to die. How he'd thought of _finishing the job himself_. He refuses to become what he hates, but he also knows how easy it can be to give in to that same darkness that took his brother from him. 

You look into the abyss, the abyss looks back. He's seen how fear and desperation can drive a person to justify just about anything. He's watched people – people he cared about, people he trusted, people who were _good_ – get lost in that black, and Chris can't ever become like that. What he's doing is too important.

And yet.

How much is _too_ much? He's weighed the cost on his own soul, knows what price he'll inevitably pay to see this done.

 _He_ might be willing to give up little bits and pieces of himself along the way, but what about everyone else?

What about Piper, or Leo?

He's up there with her and Wyatt right now. Chris can sense it. He doesn't know what they're talking about, but it can't be anything good; he's made sure of that.

Piper just needs time. She just needs to deal with this, and then find a way to move on. 

She's strong, he tells himself. One of the strongest people Chris has ever known, and she'll get through it.

(She shouldn't have to go through it at all.)

_You'll never forgive me for this Piper, but I promise I'll make it right. All of it. Just give me some time._

He picks out another photo frame from the debris, wipes off the dust. 

It's a picture of their wedding day; Piper and Leo standing arm-in-arm, smiling at the camera. She's beautiful, and he's never seen either of them look so happy. The glass in the frame is cracked, a long fissure running from top to bottom, right between them. Chris runs his thumb over it, feeling the sharp edges scrape his skin. He finds it difficult not to see the symbolism in it.

_"Then pay attention, because the world I grew up in, families hardly existed. I never had a chance to know mine."_

_"Not my fault."_

_"Not yet."_

He never should have said that. It isn't her fault; never has been.

He looks up at the stairs, feeling like history's repeating itself, and it's all his doing.

For the first time, he wonders if this is going to be worth it. He _chose_ to do this; he doesn't care what happens to himself, but it's different when he's hurting other people as well.

_"You can't kill me, I'm a Whitelighter."_

_"Then why are you sweating?"_

_The sword presses into his throat, hard enough that even swallowing is a risk. He looks up into darkened, angry eyes; sees a reflection of his own._

_Because you're my father, he wants to say. Because I'm lying through my teeth, because I know you hate me_ _right now. But I had to do it._

"I had to," he whispers, as much for himself as anyone else.

He frowns as he traces his fingers across the crack again. The glass in the frame glows gold for a second, like a Whitelighter's healing touch, and when Chris moves his hand, it looks as good as new.

If only everything else was as easy to fix.

He gets up to put the photo back in its rightful place, just as he senses Leo orbing out again. He doesn’t know when he’ll be back. Doesn't know what that means, for him or for Piper.

He waves a hand, and the rest of the mess orbs itself into the bin.


End file.
